Monday Morning rain is falling.'''":":";"";":

Really forgot how long it had been not been raining even a drop of rain on  the ground of land below the wind. It was like months not been raining , it's just that the ground still haven't cracked yet. Yes, it finally rained this morning, a real heavy rain it is. Someone says that its better not to know everything sometime, cause you'll regret after knowing about it. Yes,its true i really hope that i didn't asked something or anything about her. I prefer forgot about it or whatever that i can never know about this. Although it's not any big secret or what but for me it   should be a secret better not to know about. I hope she could see this . It hurts, when you talk with someone else....not with me.... It hurts more when someone else makes you smile & i can't....& It hurts most, when you say I Love You to someone else... Not to me.... You rejected me that day, cause you tell me, we don't know each other much yet, we just know each other for few weeks only and he is also new too... You know him not more than few weeks too... If you knew you won't, don't give me any space for imagination and even a chance at the beginning... I rather you rejected at the first time not a few weeks after and you rejected me and you're with him already at his moment. I don't even believe it when someone is telling me that. I thought it was just rumors. But today, its true . It's really hard for me to accept this do suddenly. You may now saying that i'm too slow, so what? I'm slow but at least i don't pull things off around like a truck none stop going and pulling someone at the back with rope which didn't even realize the person is tired and still pulling, even he can't walk till he is dead and still pulling him around and don't even care the corpse is still bleeding and losing parts, and you end up cutting the rope blindly and go leaving it in the middle of your journey. I don't wanna hate you, i tried my very best not to act it obviously in front of you but i can't go through myself. I try not to act emo cause it's for emo-bo but i really can't stand it. I hope someone can cast a spell on my glasses and contact lens so that i won't be seeing you in my world. I don't wanna see you cause it increase s the pain in my heart. It's my fault to know about it, i really shouldn't have known about it. Sorry Princess-bo i really can't control myself for being emo. I know emo is not for minor-bo but i'll try my best to go through this. But sometimes God just wanna test you, He don't just give you one problems at a time but he double it up or even triple it... What do you want? I'm not felling like coming to I.S. in the beginning but you tell me to go for it and you want it. So, i came to I.S. to Study. It has been a tough time for me to get use to it in an all new environment. I'm now even enjoying life and studying in I.S., and now you're telling me that i'm easily satisfy after continue studying A-Level after getting my result. Sometime you just don't understand that and even know what am i thinking . I'm NOT EASILY SATISFY for studying A-Level. All i want is just complete the whole course since i came to so far. I'm really tired of struggling between these problems. I have my own shit to manage and take care of. Stop messing up my life. I wish i could kick these stuff out of my life. It's raining now inside of my heart i don't know when will it stop. I'm sick of sad and love song now cause they don't work on me anymore.